God, help me. It’s holy week!

Well, it is officially holy week. Rick and I had this discussion about why it is called holy week. It certainly isn’t because we are any holier this week than another. Not only have I miserably failed at my chosen Lenten discipline (see earlier post), but I am particularly distracted from the message of Christ’s profound gift of love for us. I wish I could pay more attention. Hopefully the required prep for three sermons and six worship services will not distract me too far from the meaning of what Christ did on the cross. But as anyone who has led worship knows, we can go through the motions of planning worship without really giving our full attention to the One we are there to worship in the first place…An occupational hazard, especially in “holy week.”

But really, it is my daughter’s wedding in a little more than two weeks that pulls my concentration away from what I am supposed to be doing. Am I a mother or a pastor? Well, both, but sometimes it is hard to do at the same time. My mind is on red shoes, table seating, enough wedding wine, and motherly calmness. My car is in and out of store parking lots and back and forth to Philly. I practice the sermon in crossing Lancaster county, tell the story of Jesus washing disciples’ feet along the Schuylkill, and plan the next hospital visit while she is trying on a slinky black dress for the honeymoon. I can be kneeling in the chancel for prayer and easily imagining what a rainy, blustery day will be like at the zoo (location of the wedding).

Sigh. Who am I? God, help me. It’s holy week. And thank goodness, what’s holy about it is that there is One who saves me from myself and keeps pouring in love, so that I can keep loving in a mom and pastor way.

Comments

  1. Elaine, keep on keeping on. One step at a time. I can hardly believe you are mom of the bride…I distinctly remember YOUR wedding which seems like just yesterday…we are all getting older…Meg

  2. The duck photo is well chosen. (As a mother duck gathers her ducklings under her wings, so I long to gather you, says the Lord?)