All indications were that I was definitely not the only doubter in worship. Lots of people confirmed their doubts after worship.
I don’t have any easy answers for those who struggle with doubts. But I’ll tell you what Jesus did with the doubting crowd at the religious festival. (John 7 still.) For seven days of the festival that he was attending, water was carried by priests in a golden pitcher from a nearby pool, through the tense and doubting crowd to the temple as a reminder of the water God gave them from the rock in the desert. On the last day, during this 7th water ceremony, Jesus went public with the doubting crowd. He stood up and in his shouting preacher voice said: Let anyone who is thirsty come to me. No arguments. No proofs of who he was. Just an invitation to come. No strings attached.
What? Yes, doubters (I include myself). You heard right. Peel away all the various doctrines of the church. Scrape away at all the ways the church has screwed up through the ages. Forget all the ways scripture is argued about. Put aside what people expect Christians to look like. Lay all that aside, doubter, and go straight to the source. Talk to our savior Jesus and tell him you’re thirsty, that you don’t understand. Talk to him. Tell him that you are not sure you can trust. Tell him that the leap of faith is too big. Tell him that you are thirsty for the truth in the middle of the maddening crowd. In fact, don’t listen to the crowd anymore. Simply go to the source.
When we are struggling with our doubts, then reading, searching scripture, talking to others is all good. But sometimes the best and most direct thing to do is to kick off our shoes (you’re on holy ground)and fall on your knees and say, God, I don’t know if I believe this anymore. Lord Jesus Christ, are you there? Help me!
My doubting experience has tested this: When we are thirsty for the truth, when we come straight to Christ with those doubts, we will not be turned away. We may not find easy answers, but we will find the One we can trust.
Jean says
Yet it can be so hard living with the questions, without resolution. And the One who invites us can remain silent. Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief!
Elaine Dent says
How well put, Jean, and you’re right. I have had my living with doubts tested with waiting, but I have not faced the invitation when the One remains silent. That will be such a hard road to take when it comes.