No complaining. That’s what the “Jesus Creed” (Mark 12:29-31) did. Stopped me dead in my tracks from complaining.
After weeks of delay I had slipped away for two days…320 miles away. I had busily tied up all the loose ends at work so that I wouldn’t have to think about work while I was gone. But work is a vocation, not a job. In the end, necessary emails, phone calls and messages reached me. I only got my mouth halfway open to complain about why couldn’t I have just one day, and then Jesus’ words wove their way around my tongue–harnessed it, in fact: “Love God with all your… strength and love your neighbor as yourself.” After all, here I was rested after a lazy drive down and a good night’s sleep and no particular plans except to pin up the hem on my dad’s slacks. Compassionate conversation was needful, and there was plenty of room in my day for it. There was no room to complain. I’m not sure there ever is.
There are times we need to care for ourselves so that we are able to love another–not complain. There are times when we need to say no–but not complain. Or ask if we can help in another way–but not complain about what we were asked. Or forgive and let go–not complain about the fault. Or say truthfully what is our concern–not complain obliquely. There are times we need to cry out against injustice and name it for what it is, and there are times we need to lament our pain before God. Those are ways to love and speak in love, but complaining is not like any of those things.
Complaining is the wimpy way of circumventing honest conversation. Complaining can be the unhealthy reaction when I have not taken responsibility to set good limits. Complaining can put an unfair negative spin on something. Complaining takes energy away from a constructive response. Complaining is usually overloaded with my inconvenienced perspective on a situation and is much slower to take God or my neighbor’s perspective into account. Therefore loving God and neighbor have little in common with complaining.
And so on that day away, my mouth mercifully closed and swallowed a complaint that had no legitimacy to surface. Score one for God’s grace and learning the two greatest commandments by heart.
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